it wasn’t your burden

fxrelord:

Just because there was distance separating them again didn’t mean Zuko didn’t keep tabs on her pretty regularly, getting information on what she was doing with herself, where she was living, and obviously if she was safe. Hate him or not, he’d still do whatever it took if a worst case scenario happened and she was in danger again.

She knew he’d drop everything just to make sure she was safe. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done that.

Their last encounter played through his mind regularly, despite the fact that it wasn’t the first time their relationship had crumbled and fallen by the wayside, this was the longest that they’d been apart before after a relationship had happened to begin with. Definitely the longest Mai’s conviction to stay away from Zuko at all costs had remained strong and finite. If she’d wanted to come back to the palace and see him again, she would have and they both knew it.

Or perhaps she couldn’t bring herself to either.

In any case, that was another reason why he was here, because of how short-lived their previous conversation had been. She’d had every right to walk away from him, but walking away so quickly before Zuko could get a word in edgewise was the cruelest part of it all.

As was the subliminally icy tone to her voice right now.

She had no idea, or rather she had every bit an idea how much that stung.

All it took was seeing her face again for emotions he hadn’t felt in a year since she walked out of his life, make them come back like a roaring fire he could create in his hands in seconds.

This wasn’t going to be easy, but then again Zuko didn’t think it was going to be.

Ignoring the sting that her monotonous tone of voice, the noir took a few more steps forward, maintaining eye contact for as long as she’d allow and hoping an idle knife or two didn’t get thrown his way.

“I… came here to see you. I’ve missed you. . ” Obviously, way to go there Zuko. Glad to see that eye contact lasted longer than a few seconds.

Mai always knew Zuko cared for her, it was evident in the things that he did and how he was concerned for her safety - even despite the fact they both damn well knew she could take care of herself. It was endearing, mostly so since he was capable of being both protective and restful of her space at the same time. If he’d have been the type of boyfriend who always insisted she have a guard, then they most definitely wouldn’t have lasted as long as they did.

     He respected her and her independence, and supported her abilities rather than tried to instill things upon her and treat her like a fragile doll.

         But she couldn’t think of such things now, not when it could distract her from the lingering issue at hand. Zuko had his good qualities, things about him that she loved and adored like no other, but that wasn’t an excuse to just always let him off the hook when he made a mistake.

It was just unfortunate he made mistakes rather often. Not on purpose, of course, and he always did try his best to fix things. Regardless, she was still in love with an exasperating idiot.

          And it was because she loved him that she was so hard on him.

❝ And here I thought you might just be enjoying the scenery…“

It was a quick, sarcastic remark that fell from her lips with an unenthusiastic wave of her hand. She wasn’t going to make this easy for him. In fact she had every intention of being difficult because, frankly, if he was as sorry as she anticipated he’d say he was, then he’d be persistent.

         She might have been angry with him, and for all she knew she wasn’t sure where their relationship would go after everything he needed to say was said, but she wanted him to fight for her. Even despite it all, a part inside of her knotted up as she looked upon his face and she needed to know that he still needed her.

               Even after all this time… even after what she’d said and the cruel way she was treating him now.

Because she missed him, too. She’d be lying if she said otherwise. Lying if she didn’t admit she spent moments looking through their portraits and nostalgically replay moments they shared together.

           ❝ I’ve missed you, too…" She wanted to say it, because it was true. So very true. Yet she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. Instead, the words fell limply on her lips, unspoken yet vibrating through her very core.

Her eyes locked with his, but she made sure her expression wouldn’t betray her and nonverbally reveal those unspoken words.