Details of Mai’s evening between when she returned home and when the current conversation with her husband happened could wait. Right now it was irrelevant, the topic at hand was more imperative.
Zuko too had been to the Fire Nation prisons, hell he’d even stayed in one for a day back during the Boiling Rock incident. He knew how hellish they were, even if his experiences inside them were brief. And as much as he hadn’t particularly preferred his time in here, for Zuko it was nothing as worse as the time spent during his banishment was. Not much else could trump that for the formerly banished prince.
For everyone that knew Mai’s family, they first and foremost knew of her father’s political career, how much the family had sacrificed for the sole purpose of that, how much of her childhood Mai had given up as the only daughter for so long. It was the major reason why she had so much difficulty opening up, except in situations like the one she was in now, or ones like their little trip to the beach.
And just like that, Mai was relaxing as fast as Zuko was just a few moments prior. They were both too tense for their own good, and staying as they were for too long would just make the roundabout argument that much worse. So when Zuko felt Mai leaning back against him more, the attention she was receiving didn’t cease. If anything she was getting more of it.
Tugging at her waist enough, Zuko turned Mai around so a kiss could silence her for a moment at least; not let her mouth keep running and say things that’d only make her upset further.
“He’s going to get treated like every other criminal involved with the society is. He’ll stand trial like the rest and be sentenced accordingly. He still betrayed your trust, as well as the rest of the nation’s. He shouldn’t have done what he did to you in the first place. Whether you forgive him or not is up to you, but I’m still here for you.”
The more the Fire Lady thought on the matter, the more confused and conflicted it made her feel. The more confused and conflicted she felt, the worse she thought of herself.It was toxic, almost, and eating away at her in ways she wasn’t used to. She’d always been so proud and full of conviction, but this had totally caught her off guard and threw her off balance.
It was lucky that Zuck was such a caring and attentive husband, because of course he knew that by spinning her around and pulling her into a kiss would make her head stop spinning - at least for a moment. Her arms instantly wrapped around him, her thin fingers brushing through his hair and entangling themselves as se pulled her body close against his. That’d been exactly what Mai needed.
When the kiss was broken, she nuzzled the tip of her nose against his neck, then rest her head against his shoulder as a sigh suspired.
❝ I know… I just—- I don’t know, Zuko, I’m just confused. There are so many factors to consider and its just hard for me to separate my duty as Fire Lady and then what I think my duty as a daughter is supposed to be.“
The noir allowed for a pause, simply inhaling and exhaling to keep herself calm. Spirits, she was just so exhausted that her brain felt fuzzy and weak.
❝ I didn’t mean to make a mess out of everything… I’d gone to see the prison to see what my father had waiting for him and Ozai just caught my attention and I… I was vulnerable so I made promises on shallow, guilty kindness. But you know I don’t like going against my word… I know you’re upset with me, but I have to go through with my promises still.”
“That’s very kind of you. Perhaps I won’t randomly freeze to death after all.” That was a horrible way to go.
He chuckled. “Musk? Are you sure that isn’t me?” Ozai hardly noticed anymore… but he would once he’s returned to that dreadful place.
❝ Freezing to death wouldn’t nearly be exciting enough to put in the history texts. I’d be doing a great disservice to the Fire Nation if I let you go out that way.“
She said it so calmly, but the corners of her lips curled upwards lightly.
❝ Well, that could be a factor, but I think the moldy, bloody old people smell is definitely just the prison in general.”
“That seems to be my only comfort but the winters are rather unforgiving.” It would have been nice to have a blanket but he has to rely on family for that. It was unfortunate for him that he didn’t have much of a family like some of the other prisoners who received blankets from loved ones to deal with the cold.
❝ And I imagine it’s worse considering how damp it is in there. I’ll be sure to have blankets sent to you for the winter. I’ll be having inspections of the cells, as well, so perhaps something can be done about the disgusting musk in there. That can’t can’t be healthy.“
Every little thing Ozai had to throw at her, she
was ready to offer. She knew Zuko would be
displeased when the time finally came she
revealed what she’d been up to, but at that
moment she didn’t care.
“I see.” She was withholding information -or so he thought. But despite this suspicion, he wouldn’t pry. The man didn’t want to ruin his day and he was sure that hearing that answer meant that there was indeed some news about her which was promising.
Mai exhaled a light sigh, relieved that the
potential crisis had been averted. Even so,
her thoughts lingered on Azula - where she
could possibly be and why. No, she couldn’t
dwell on that now. She needed to keep her
mind off of the gloomier side of things.
❝ I don’t envy our colonies in the Earth Kingdom. It’s probably too cold over there by now. Not as cold as the Water Tribes, but I’d rather stick to home where it’s cozy.“
“You seem optimistic. Do you know something that I don’t?” He lifted his head and side glanced his daughter-in-law. The tone in his voice sounded harsh. Twas a tone that he didn’t hold for a long time.
❝ …….. That depends on how much you know.“
The last thing the Fire Lady wanted to do was slip
up by telling Ozai something that Zuko considered
a potential threat. The fact she was even talking to
him and had let him out of his cell for a walk would
be enough to get him angry. She didn’t want to push it.
“I had a feeling she would return to her hometown. That’s why I suggested it when Azula asked.”
Azula…
He frowned and slowed his already slow pace, recalling what Ursa had told him about his daughter. It ate at him to think that he may never see her again…
Mai definitely noticed the change when Azula was
mentioned, and frankly knowing that Azula was out
there somewhere alone didn’t sit right with her. Azula
had been her friend since childhood, after all, even
despite the turn of events.
After a pause, the noir gently pat Ozai’s
hand - her attempt at being comforting
and reassuring.
❝ She’s probably terrorizing some poor travelers right now. In no time, she’ll be back at the palace teasing Zuko and demanding to come see you.“
He smiled wide when she spoke of her. “She is, isn’t she?” Even though Ozai hadn’t seen Ursa in weeks, he still remembered the visit as if it were yesterday. His eyes stayed low in the trail before them.
“I was surprised as well. Do you know where exactly they found her?”
❝ There’s so much I’m eager to learn from her.“
Needless to say, Mai enjoyed her talks with Ursa
and always looked forward to them. They got along
swimmingly, mostly talking about the ridiculousness
of Fire Lords and enjoying laughs together.
❝ I believed she’d been in her hometown, if I remember correctly. It seems so obvious, but apparently there had been complications involving the Mother of Faces. Which explains why it wasn’t as simple as walking into Hira'a with a portrait of her.”
When she took his arm on her own a second time, it made him feel a lot better about himself. Perhaps he was capable of the change that the Avatar had hoped for him. Perhaps it was finally showing through and Mai was one of the first to wittiness it. The walked a little ways in silence as Ozai watched where he stepped because the volcanic rock was rather dangerous for bare feet.
“How do you like your mother-in-law?” He finally asked after twirling possible answers in his mind.
If only Ozai had known the truth, then their conversation
likely wouldn’t be going as smoothy as it was. Mai didn’t
have any real interest in him and she wasn’t sure if the
previous Fire Lord would ever be capable of redeeming
himself. She was being kind to him out of her own guilt of
the negative feelings for her father. Then again… perhaps
a part of her did see some glimpse of hope in Ozai, because
if Ozai could be redeemed then there was no excuse her
own father couldn’t be.
His question surprised her, at first. But,
then again, why wouldn’t he be curious
about affairs involving Ursa?
❝ I admit, I was surprised Zuko was able to find her so quickly. It had been so long, I wasn’t sure if she’d even recognize who I was when I saw her again. She’s as lovely as I remember, and still very kind.“
He rubbed the muscle on the back of his neck then turned his head to look at his apparent savior.
“Thank you.” He mumbled as he then offered his arm so they could take their walk along the path under the shadows of the wall that contained them.
❝ Don’t worry about it.“
She stepped forward then, looping her arm
through his and letting her gaze drift over
their surroundings. For prison grounds, it
wasn’t too plain. Not a garden or park by
any means, but at least it was a step up from
the boring, gloomy terrain on the Boiling Rock.
And it was a rule she seldom had to enforce, because Zuko seldom got that agitated during a disagreement that his firebending would make an appearance.
The teen stayed where he was as she circled angrily around the bed, never letting his eyes stray from her (well, eye). It was lucky there were almost adults and Zuko was still slightly taller than Mai, otherwise the immature side of him would’ve wanted to try and stand up straighter for the sole purpose of looking even more taller while they had their momentary staring contest. Immaturity would most likely never fully die.
“I’m not condescending you Mai, stop putting words in my mouth!”
And it was almost ironic, how she was lecturing him about getting condescending with her, when she turned right around and started lecturing him on things he knew about as well. How Azula coerced Mai and Ty Lee into the chase for her brother and Aang, he knew that one all too well. And he remembered her betrayal of Azula too, in Mai doing that she effectively saved Zuko’s life, and if she hadn’t then he wouldn’t be standing where he was.
"I know you were there on the Boiling Rock, the only reason you went there in the first place is because of me! I know you nearly died going against my sister to save me, you think I wasn’t terrified when I saw Azula approach you with every intent to kill you for that?? I might’ve turned back from the gondola to kill my sister if I’d watched her murder my girlfriend! I owe Ty Lee every ounce of my gratitude for betraying my sister to so I wouldn’t watch you die right in front of my eyes.”
But at least they were in complete agreement that Ozai needed to spend a long time paying his debt to society for all the heinous crimes he’d committed, Zuko would’ve been seriously concerned if they’d differed on that opinion.
Zuko knew Mai enough to know exactly when her words were straying away from his own father to someone completely different and yet still related. Mai had her own issues with her father to face and deal with, soon enough she’d have to witness the same thing Zuko had: watching your father get thrown into prison indefinitely. That’s something no child should ever have to go through.
But her words were shifting, almost as if she were talking in the first person, talking about herself. The only difference there was the fact that Mai felt guilt for knowing her father was to be locked up, Zuko hadn’t felt a shred of remorse when Ozai was imprisoned where he was, he’d felt a sense of relief.
Her steps over to her desk hadn’t been mirrored to take him over there as well, not until he heard the slam and Mai’s subsequent yell of pain from hurting herself somehow (having her back turned to him didn’t give him the vantage point of seeing what happened). That snapped Zuko back to the concerned husband that he was, that snapped him back real fast. Hurrying around the bed and ignoring the possibility that Mai could slap or shove him away, arms wrapped around her waist without hesitation and pulled his chest to her back. Mai had her finger securely between her lips, so apparently a sore finger was the cause of the pained distress. He’d get there to continuing the conversation at a hopefully more civil level of volume, but right now making sure his wife was okay was priority number one.
Lowering his head so his lips could press a few idle kisses to her shoulder as the seconds ticked by and Zuko hoped she wouldn’t push him away.
“You’re not a terrible daughter. Your father is the one that did something wrong, not you. The woman I love can do no wrong.”
She pinched her finger between her lips, sucking away the small trace of blood from the minor wound. She’d had worse injuries, but it wasn’t the pain that was making her tremble and feel so miserable. She could almost feel the dingy rot of the prison’s atmosphere on her from her visit to it that way. When she’d returned to the palace, the Fire Lady’s first course of action had been a hot bath so that she could scrum away the filthy feeling of being in such a place. She’d scrubbed and scrubbed, to the point that one of the attendants had to come right into the bathhouse and keep her from peeling her delicate skin off.
She felt dingy and grey and terrible, and like those aspects had seeped into her soul to make her the emotionless blob everyone always assumed she was anyway. Because, surely, only someone like that would want such a thing for their parent. Her father had been tame in comparison to Ozai. He’d been suffocating and even neglectful, as well as mentioned a few times how disappointed he was she’d been a daughter, but aside from that he’d never once so much as raised a finger at her.
Looking at it that way, she began to reconsider the life her parents had put her through. She had always resented them and, yes, her father was a traitor for trying to bring Ozai back to the throne - but was that enough reason for her to want him in prison and be done with him? Wasn’t she supposed to stand by her father and at least consider missing him?
Feeling her husband’s presence so near alarmed her at first, if only because she was still upset and had half a mind to shove him away for it, but there came a sense of security and safety when he wrapped his arms around her waist.
Her body relaxed and she leaned back against his chest, her trembling lessening with each kiss he laid upon her shoulder.
❝ I know he did… but does that justify me treating him like—-”
She had to trail off, unclear of a proper word to signify exact how she felt about her father.
❝ —- He could have been so much worse to me, but he wasn’t. Shouldn’t that mean something to me? At least enough that, despite his part in everything, that I’d still…“
Mai curled her sore finger, gaging the level of injury before another drop of blood formed over the cut. With a sigh, her other hand began to rummage her desk for a small roll of gauze to cover it with.The Fire Lady was exhausted, emotionally and physically, and her shoulders slumped as she lazily turned through her drawers before finally just giving up. Let it bleed, she didn’t care any more. She didn’t care if it got infected or just ended up something worse.
Her uninjured hand rubbed at her stinging eyes, still damp with unshed tears and half-lidded from the exertion that came with arguing. All she wanted to do was go curl up somewhere and be done.
